by Peter William Gribble

THE SEVEN POINTS OF POINSETTIAS
Or The Option Of A Non-Denominational Prayer Plant

A wise friend asked recently, ‘What’s the point of poinsettias?’

Point One: Poinsettias or Euphorbia pulcherrima are cheap and lush (at least when first seen in the store) displaying extravagant colours from red, pink, white, solid, blotched or streaked. The bracts (the coloured parts, which are not petals but coloured leaves) come flat, curled, misshaped or rose shaped among endless variations. The true flower parts are the small, knobbly bits clustered at the centre of the flower head. Plant sizes range from two inch tall cuties to ten gallon pots containing three foot tall monsters with flower heads more than a foot across.

Point Two: It is the holiday season after all. Why not get one? They bring a festive air to the place; on the counter in the store, in the office by the laptop, at home on the mantle.

Point Three: Their attractiveness lasts the holiday season if you keep tidying up after them. During the winter, they like bright light if you can find some, but the rules for watering? Not too much or it will drop leaves; not too little or it’ll drop leaves. Keep it out of drafts or it’ll drop leaves. Look at it too long: it’ll drop leaves. On purpose.

Point Four: What to do with them after New Years? They won’t hold out until Groundhog Day let alone St. Valentine’s Day. Only during Lent will they be appropriate as leafless sticks. So by January most of them will be consigned to the botanical graveyard – poinsettias propagated by the tens of millions for the Christmas trade, thrown away. Ah, the practices of humanity. Landfill sites overflow with the global effluent of unwanted poinsettias. What will archaeologists 2,000 years from now think when they sift through the remains of our civilization and discover the yearly pulse of composted poinsettias, except to say, ‘Ah, it was a January long ago when this stratum was laid down.’

In the tropics the throwaway mentality can be mitigated somewhat. Gardeners, unwilling to let plants die, sneak them out into the jungle behind the house – a catch-and-release program of sorts. This is where I saw my first Christmas abandoned poinsettia behind a friend’s back yard in the Caribbean: an isolated, full grown anomaly – an interloper from a different jungle. Even the liana vines hung back, unwilling to embrace this bunch of spindly, snaky trunks, 15 – 20 feet tall with a thin platform of green leaves at the barely visible top. The two red, out of season bracts I could spot were celebrating their lucky escape from some forgotten Christmas Past. That there was only one multi-stemmed planting indicated this poinsettia was a single, short-lived holiday tradition not to be repeated.

Point Five: Given the various religious underpinnings to the December holiday period, perhaps a more reverent approach might be the solution.

Not as gaudy as the poinsettia is the prayer plant or Maranta leuconeura. It has beautiful leaves and favours low light. It’s called a prayer plant because the leaves are supposed to close at night ‘like hands in prayer’ or so claims the plastic tag. Mine have never done so. Perhaps it is an ecumenical, politically correct, non-denominational prayer plant … or a lapsed prayer plant. Mine is certainly non-observant, having seemingly forgotten the words or lost its rosary. Maybe it’s all about inner prayer that eschews the ostentation of folded hands. Otherwise, my agnostic/atheist, non-praying, prayer plant is a nice, quiet home companion. Only when I forget to water it does it begin to curl its leaves. Since it’s probably praying for rain, I always oblige.

Or get a bit exotic with a Flamingo Flower.

Point Six: There are more enduring, less sensitive alternatives.

Or that old stand-by, the Christmas Cactus.

Grow an anthurium (Anthurium scherzerianum) or Flamingo Flower with its glossy red flowers (also available in pink and white) and celebrate Diwali, Christmas, Hanukah, Saturnalia or Winter Solstice year round. Throw some tinsel over it during the winter festivities. Remove tinsel when frenzy subsides. The Flamingo variety of Anthuriums are solid, dependable houseplants, requiring occasional watering, a turn to the light every so often. Mine has sat happily in an east-facing window for years. Its waxy, long lasting flowers make it seasonally oblivious and there are no landfill sites waiting for this lovely, year-round friend. Repot in the spring every few years or so and divide if necessary. A jolt of fertilizer every now and then will reward you with lush growth and near constant flowers. There are other varieties of Anthurium but they tend to be more of a challenge. If, in a store, you see an Anthurium with striking silver veins on its leaves it is likely Anthurium crystallinum or the Crystal Anthurium. It is trickier to keep happy for it needs high humidity (frequent misting) and careful watering – not too much, not too little, yet don’t let it dry out.

Christmas cactus (Zygocactus truncatus but was once called Schlumbergera truncata) come with red, pink, white or purple flowers. The plant or its cuttings can be passed down through generations. If you want it to bloom again next year give it a resting period by keeping it cool and on the dry side in January and February. In the spring, let it dry between thorough waterings. Some people like to put it outside during the summer in a bright shady spot (but no direct sun) though my mother never did. Her Christmas cactus, a slip given to her by her mother, bloomed every year for nearly twenty years.

Though when all’s said and done, it really is poinsettia time!

Ardisia crenata (also known as A. crispa) or Coral Berry is not always available but has been a standard indoor holiday plant. It has leather-like leaves and red berries lasting months. Never let it dry out, but ease up on the watering during the winter and trim it back in the spring once the berries are done. Don’t place it by a door or window as it hates drafts.

Point Seven: What’s the point of poinsettias? Perhaps to remind us that life is fleeting and our moment on the mantel is brief. We may be a bit gaudy, our flower parts may be on the small and knobbly side, our leaves may drop too easily but hey, it’s the holiday season! Have a joyous one whether or not you have a poinsettia to remind you of it.